I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my liver is dry heaving
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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