No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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