I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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