When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i out mim tonsoeep
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
