operation harelip BJ is a go
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize