Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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