did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
