omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
