and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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