check it out our google latitudes are spooning
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
