You're a womanizer and a bitch.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
