if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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