you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize