We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
