plz talk dirty to me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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