all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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