Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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