Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
