No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
