I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
