only if we run a train.
done.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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