I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize