You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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