My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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