It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
