it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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