just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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