Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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