Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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