he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
