I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize