Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
