My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
