I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
