my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
