youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my sisters under your porch take her home
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
