I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dignity is for republicans.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I FOUND THE LEGS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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