it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
