Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
