Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think my tv is drunk
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
