You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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