dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize