How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
