I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
