oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
