is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You pole danced in your parka.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
