In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize