She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
not ubering you a puppy
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
