I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
