I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
