I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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