I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
