i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
