So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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