Yo dont text me then not text me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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