His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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