You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
