I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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