bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
