I heard we made out
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
