hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
