..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am available for nakedness
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
