I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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