I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You made out with two different species that night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
