btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
